Travel does the soul good. This is a known fact. It brings perspective on where you are in your life, both geographically and emotionally. This is exactly what happened to me on my last excursion.
It's been over a year since I decided to leave California. I bought my one-way ticket out of California a year ago on August 27, 2014. On August 27, 2015, I was back in my home state, helping one of my dearest friends get ready for her wedding day. The irony of me being back on the west coast a year after 'leaving it behind' is almost too much to bare. Hilarious? Maybe a little.
The first time my life was uprooted and relocated in such dramatic fashion I was 5 years old and I had no say in the matter, and I was too young to realize the effect it would have on my life. The second time is when I went to college. College, a bubble specially designed for friendships and community, and oh yeah - structure and learning. This last uprooting, though was of my own doing, and I had no training wheels.
Beginning again has been a lot like college, except there are no coordinated social friendship building events. This time around I was 23 years old and I descended into the lives of people (family) that were already living theirs, I was just starting mine. Even the people I have found here that I really like (friends) have their own lives, and I'm just trying to convince them that they need me in it.
So why am I still talking about my new life here in florida, 8 months later? Because I have come to realize that 8 months (four months in Morocco does not count, in case you caught the timeline disparity) is NOT a long time and it is still all very new to me. The last place I lived I was there for almost 20 years so to compare what I had in California to what I have here right now is grossly unfair.
My visits to California, being with the family and friends that were all so familiar to me, granted me perspective. Yes, I had a life over there. And when there are people there who I allowed to hurt me badly there were countless others that loved me and wanted to best for me. And I was not finding the best for me there, so I left. So here is a reminder to myself that life here is just beginning and I need to take my west coast experience and not get depressed on how far I HAVE NOT got with my life on the east coast but look at how far I HAVE come. I have the start of something great here. I still do not know what's best for me but I'm beginning to see that it's all a choice. It was my choice, ultimately, to come here and it is within my choosing to stay or go. But I believe happiness is a choice and I have as great a chance finding it here as I do anywhere, and the day I think that's not the case I'll be gone. I get to choose who I spend my time with. I get to choose HOW I spend my time. By God's grace I have a great job and some great people in my life. By His grace I can continue to foster those friendships I have already established. By His grace I can lay my insecurities aside, begin new friendships and seek new opportunities that I have offered to me being young, single, and [dirt poor but] debt free.
well, ttfn ta ta for now.
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