Two months ago, I was confused, I was in a dark place spiritually and emotionally. Granted, the two have always been closely connected for me.
Two moths ago, to the day, I left the country with so many questions that I know needed answers.
Much happened in those two weeks out of the country, and I had no idea that when I returned I would hit the ground running. In the few months before I left, I would have days, weeks , I would open my bible and the words would seem dead.
Nothing "jumped " off the page, those little Holy Spirit nudges weren't there.
The verses and words of encouragement I would get through my small group might as well have been quaint little machine generated anecdotes.
As I prepared for my trip, however, I was stepping in faith, as weak as it felt at the time, knowing i was going to capitalize on my time with my immediate family. I thank God for the time and space he blessed me with.
God spoke to me in those two weeks. I came back with answers, clarity, and direction. I came back and the word of God had come alive to me again. I came home, but my entire world as I knew it had shifted. I came home, and my life would never be the same.
Details are really irrelevant as the point I'm trying to convey is this: God brought me to a certain breaking point to awaken His Word to my heart again. He took away my idol, the object of my hope that was not God himself.
He ripped that away from me, but He was there. He was there in the shock and confusion to comfort my soul. I've cried, and here is where I would poetically say that I've laughed. But I haven't. Of course I have actually laughed and I have had moments of joy, but all of them still have this lingering pangs of sadness. I'm not there yet. I feel that moment approaching. I can feel joy just right around the corner.
This is a message of praise, and what I hope is a message of encouragement to my readers. The pain is deep but His love is so much deeper.
Remember that He knows your heart, better than you do. He will write your story so much better and more beautifully than you could even imagine.
I encourage you to never stop reading His word. Do not give up on Him because He never gives up on you.
He makes beauty out of brokenness.
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