I was 21 and 1/2 when I graduated college. I'd been in school since I could walk (almost literally I was a very late walker, some of you aren't surprised. Most of you aren't surprised.) What this means is that up until 21 years of age I have had people telling me what to do. I had a set of boundaries put up either by myself or by others that, as long as I operated within those boundaries, I could do any thing. School, classes, schedule. That was my life. That's what it was built around for me. This may sound silly to those of you who know I was not a very good student and only really enjoyed the social aspect of school. But at least when people asked me what I was doing with my life I could say with confidence "oh, I'm a student." That's always been my identity.
So here I am, a year and a half after closing the chapter in my life called "formal studies". Now what? CAN SOME ONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE? Right now I'm living with my parents again, jobless, hoping to gain an answer to that question. As students, we have it pounded into our head that a high paying or fulfilling career is what we must do with our lives. Ok teachers and grad students, please don't get your panties in a bunch. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this is the standard set for me as a college grad. Just let me have my say.
What about those of us who'd rather jump off a bridge than enroll in another semester of classes and spend another hundred dollars on books that the teacher may or may not use? What about those of us who did not "hear" the "calling"? What about those of us who do not feel drawn to a certain "career"? What about those of us who aren't even sure of all the gifts and talents we possess? What about us? What about me?
I can't speak for every one but I'm certainly going to speak for me. No one on this earth can tell me what the standards are that I need to be living by. I plan on spending the rest of my life, my time (back in my parents house)here included, finding what makes me fulfilled. I set my goals. My life is going to look different than any body else, because, just like you, I'm an individual. I may not have any of the answers I want right now, but I'm only 23. So this is me ridding myself of the people that tell me I am worth less than what I am. This is me shaking off the lies, the false standards, breaking the walls, ready to live my life.
I'll be the first to say that I've been a whiny spoiled little brat but the jokes over. It's not cute or funny any more. It never was. It's lame and stupid. Sure sometimes life sucks and it was rough, but that's the past. I plan on returning to my new home at the start of the new year, hitting the ground running, or walking, if that's what I choose. But it is after all, MY choice. I plan on using this time and distance to gain objectivity and a better perspective. I hope to transform the negatives to positives. The search for my purpose and my identity continues. It is intimidating but also new and exciting.
So here I am, a year and a half after closing the chapter in my life called "formal studies". Now what? CAN SOME ONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO BE DOING WITH MY LIFE? Right now I'm living with my parents again, jobless, hoping to gain an answer to that question. As students, we have it pounded into our head that a high paying or fulfilling career is what we must do with our lives. Ok teachers and grad students, please don't get your panties in a bunch. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this is the standard set for me as a college grad. Just let me have my say.
What about those of us who'd rather jump off a bridge than enroll in another semester of classes and spend another hundred dollars on books that the teacher may or may not use? What about those of us who did not "hear" the "calling"? What about those of us who do not feel drawn to a certain "career"? What about those of us who aren't even sure of all the gifts and talents we possess? What about us? What about me?
I can't speak for every one but I'm certainly going to speak for me. No one on this earth can tell me what the standards are that I need to be living by. I plan on spending the rest of my life, my time (back in my parents house)here included, finding what makes me fulfilled. I set my goals. My life is going to look different than any body else, because, just like you, I'm an individual. I may not have any of the answers I want right now, but I'm only 23. So this is me ridding myself of the people that tell me I am worth less than what I am. This is me shaking off the lies, the false standards, breaking the walls, ready to live my life.
I'll be the first to say that I've been a whiny spoiled little brat but the jokes over. It's not cute or funny any more. It never was. It's lame and stupid. Sure sometimes life sucks and it was rough, but that's the past. I plan on returning to my new home at the start of the new year, hitting the ground running, or walking, if that's what I choose. But it is after all, MY choice. I plan on using this time and distance to gain objectivity and a better perspective. I hope to transform the negatives to positives. The search for my purpose and my identity continues. It is intimidating but also new and exciting.
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