Training Ground

Since I feel like I really have something here, I do see this blog as a training ground for my message to the world. I can run tests on this page.
It's hopeless. I ruin any kind of relationship I have with a guy I may like straight into the ground. When I say "like," I mean "like" yes, THAT kind of "like." What I am saying is that at a certain point, something clicks, in the worst sense of the word. It must be a point that I am unaware of something I have said. It always comes around the dinner table. I know that once I'm at the dinner table with that guy, well, it's going to be the last supper. You'd think that after the third time, I'd shriek and tell them to run away - fast. Or at least you would think I would take on that task myself. But no, I prefer to watch it slip out of my reach. And it falls hard. I have yet to know why. Self awareness fail.
This leads me back up to the top. "It's hopeless." The term "hopeless" implies that there was once hope for SOMETHING. What is this thing that there was apparently "hope" for? The truth is nothing. The more accepted theory is that that SOMETHING is really not a THING at all but a someONE. Speaking from inside this Christianese bubble I've been raised in my whole life, us Christian girls are told things such as:
"it's worth the wait" or
"you should become so lost in God that a man has to find God if he wants to find you"or my personal favorite (note: the sarcasm):
"there is someone out there for everyone"
Let's just look at these three shall we?

"wait"is a word implies something waiting for. What is it that you are waiting for? Is "it" the inevitable knight in shining armor? Us girls are taught to be in a period of waiting, thus is our mindset. We wait.

as for the second quote: ......what. the..... I hate the entire wording of this catch phrase. It just makes me want to barf. I understand the concept behind it but, really? Whoever came up with this needs to go dig a hole where no one but God could see her face, and then see if her man "finds" her. "Find" implies "search," as if there is this one guy out there "looking just for you." It's a nice idea, but some of the greatest women in the history of the world accomplished moving mountains with no man at her side.

The last quote leads me to the bulk of my proposition. I will rebuttal simply and swiftly. There is NOT someone out there for EVERYONE. Your soulmate is not canvassing the globe to find you- his perfect match. Many people live and die single. Many people live single, marry, and die having found their soulmate. As a young Christian woman I am told that this is ideal. I would argue that the first is ideal. (Look at Paul) Further more, many many many many many people  can't survive single, marry, divorce, and repeat. It's sickening. I think the loudest problem is the divorce rate these days, which is just as high with Christians as it is in "secular" society. I think the REAL problem, however, begins when Sally first realizes that Johnny is not just a person, but a boy. Sally attends a Christian school, goes to church at least once a week, and has bible principles instilled in her before she knew how to count to ten. All good things. When Sally notices Johnny she will be told the three things I mentioned above. The ship has sunk before it's even sailed. Sally needs to be told that Johnny's life belongs to God. Sally needs to be told that her life belongs to God. Sally needs to be fostered in a community of people that love the Lord and care for each other. Sally needs to be told NOT to wait for Johnny, but to live her own full life, with her FAMILY at her side. Sally needs to be told that God is the SOLE author of a man loving a woman, if it were indeed in His will for this to happen. Matters of the heart, in whatever aspect, are for God to deal with. I've heard the phrase "give God the pen to your love story." Who puts the pen in our hands in the first place? Our mothers do by telling us to wait. Our fathers do with all their "someday when...." stories. Our pastors do by pounding our head full of Proverbs 31. Our pen is not ours to give to God, the pen always has and always will be God's! This idea spills out into every area of our lives. What I am asking is one of the hardest things to do. In a society where you can not turn on the television without having sex shoved down your throat, I would say it's near impossible.
That is why what I am called to share is so radical. The term "wait" and "hope"and "when" need to be thrown out when talking about relationships with the opposite sex. We need to replace these words with "continue" and "if." Ya, and hope needs to be kept to Christ. The minute we stop "waiting" is the same minute we free ourselves of the misery that comes with "searching" for someone whom will not even exist until God allows for it.

that's enough for now. Yes, there is more, but not now.